Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
