I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
