I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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