A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
