We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dicks are not precious.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
