Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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