I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
