my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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