sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
