Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
