ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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