it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
