I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize