yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
