just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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