But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
