What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
