found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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