I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My vagina just recognized that song.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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