We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize