Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize