I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
