Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we're making bets on your personal life
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
