nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
