You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
