Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
