i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize