Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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