Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
