Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
