Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
