take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
