I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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