What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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