EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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