I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Terrible idea I love it
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
