Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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