I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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