If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
