I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
