Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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