also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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