I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Panties = found
Randomize
