her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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