i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
