i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
