Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
