Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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