dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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