Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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