peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I could fuck to npr.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
