Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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