They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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