There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize