The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
