Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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