walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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