Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
