I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
