and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
