I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I got inside last night via doggy door
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize