brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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