My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
