I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
