I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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