you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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