Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
