I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
