Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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