You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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