is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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